The Road Trip

September 9, 2016

You don't realise what kind of bond you have with your band mates till you take them on the road.   You jam with them twice a week in a dungeon like green room. you play shows with them all over the bloody city of Sudbury, but you never get to have those "intimate close moments"  

....until now......   

 

That's where ROAD TRIPS come into play!   Take your band on the road, visit local dance bars like the King George in New Liskeard and see if you can shock the hip-hoppers and teach them how to mosh to your Crone of War hits, Visit a Hempfest in the remote regions of Kapuskasing in a wee town called Moonbeam where the beer bottles have been replaced by bongs and every guitar slide sends the smoke tumble-weeding back across the room.

 

Take your band with you to a small town restaurant and watch the locals give scared looks as the boys and their band-aids saunter in.    You gotta love all day breakfast because NO heavy metal band is ever awake early enough to get bacon and eggs otherwise.  Yummy!

 

Note:  Be wary of the creamers....  they tend to explode when squeezed.  Please molest the prized moose statue that seems to glorify another a certain small town,  He doesn't get much action.   He told us he was very lonely and falling a little to the right a bit too much.  

 

Don't forget to chill under the U.F.O. in Moonbeam.  This thing is much cheesier than anticipated...  I mean worse than Brie (say in death metal voice).   The Aliens looking out the windows are a nice touch of course.

 

Be sure to take lots of pictures to ensure you don't forget all those great moments five minutes after you had them but make sure you get off the train bridge before the engine comes rolling down the tracks...  Also, word of advice, don't swim in the abandoned house basement...  You don't know what be creepin' down there.   Side note:  Churches are great for an good... I mean evil sense of demonosity.

 

If  you wake up at 11am and still find yourself drunk, that's a good thing.   Atleast you did a great job of cleaning your room & the driver is sober.   Make sure to always slam your door while everyone is sleeping and definitely be wary of the fudge balls the folks at that festival may have been passing around.  

 

Make sure your makeup always looks beautiful, even though we all know you're beautiful without it.  Remember, nothing says love like brushing your teeth together while one of you fertilises a bathroom stall.  And if you can't sleep...  Just let the rumble of the snore lull you... or in some cases, keep punching & kicking the upper bunk to change the frequency and timing of the snorts..  

 

To you, my fellow band mates...  all I have to say is....  Holy Fuck!  That was Fun!   Let's do it again!!!!!  Oh and...  I love you guys!

 

 

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